The research is ongoing and has won a professional poster presentation award. Erika is a guest on radio programs as an expert resource for positive communication. Based on her awarding winning book, Erika shows us how and why we choose unhappiness and how to easily rewrite our story.enter
As a recovering pessimist, Erika applies the lessons she teaches and understands the benefits of negativity. Is your organization, team or family bogged down with negativity? Do gossip, blame and negativity reign? Being an optimistic leader in a pessimist world is not for sissies. You have your to-do list ready, your clothes are picked out and the coffee is programmed to be ready when you get up.
You have organized your day for a smooth ride down the river of life. Just as you begin to enjoy the ride, your boat tips over. Will you land face down, drenched and without a paddle or keep your balance? Successful and happy people know that tipping crap happens so they learn to use their positivity paddle. Learn what change really is, how humans respond to change, why change can be difficult, and positive paddling strategies to manage rocky spots while enjoying the smoothest ride possible.
She argues that the reason The Secret works is because The Universe is made up of energy and, as Einstein taught us, matter can be converted to energy and vice versa and all energy has a frequency.
If you believe that you are rich and wealthy and successful, The Universe will respond to these vibrations and soon provide you with the wealth and success you desire. If you believe that you are thin and beautiful, then The Universe will magically deliver healthy, skinny goodness — like raw carrots and three hours on the treadmill — every morning, right to your front door. As human beings, we have a limited amount of attention for all the stuff going on around us. Therefore, whether we realize it or not usually not , we are always choosing what we pay attention to. It does this for the simple reason that it is biologically economical and efficient.
For example, you spend years not really paying attention to what kind of car people drive. But then the time comes for you to start thinking about buying a car and suddenly you notice the make and model of cars all over the place. You start making decisions about which styles you like and what features you care about. Suddenly you find yourself thinking back and noticing all sorts of shady and questionable behavior from your friend that you never noticed or thought about before.
The Secret advocates that people assume the identities of the person they wish to become — to actually believe that they are already rich, already skinny and healthy, already in a perfect relationship.
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Essentially, The Secret tells you to become delusionally positive about yourself for a long enough period of time that your natural confirmation bias kicks in and you only attend to the things in your life that match these new beliefs. This may actually be beneficial — at least at first — for people who have some pretty fucked up and delusional negative beliefs about themselves. But at some point, you actually have to, you know, do something …. The Secret actually requires that you never doubt yourself, never consider negative repercussions, and never indulge in negative thoughts.
Drug X might help hundreds of millions, even billions of people and you would be rich, famous, and loved by all. But you read The Secret and you told The Universe that you would find a cure for cancer. So you plow ahead with Drug X, pouring money, time, brainpower, and precious resources into it. You rationalize the negative results away because doubting yourself is tantamount to doubting The Universe, and no one fucks with The Universe. And for what? To feel a little better about yourself? Another example is your love life. Psychological research shows that trying to suppress thoughts about something only makes those thoughts more likely to recur.
Thinking about the things you do not want can lead to more negative thinking and put you in a vicious cycle of negativity. Research also shows that actively engaging in positive thinking, such as when you imagine getting a job, doing well on an exam, or even successfully recovering after surgery, can actually result in poorer outcomes. The truth about their situation just becomes that much more painful to them.
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Delusional positive thinking ironically generates greater closed-mindedness in people. They must always be vigilant and block out potentially negative feedback or criticism of their beliefs, even if that negative feedback is life-or-death important to their health and well-being. Ultimately, the law of attraction states that if you just think about what you want, it will come to you — when taken to its logical extreme, it encourages you to always be wanting something, to never be content, and this can make us less happy in the long run.
At some point, we must all come to terms with the struggles and failures in our lives, because we all have them.
Miscommunicating and Making Assumptions
This, ironically, is a more logical path to success than simply wishing incessantly for all of your dreams to come true. Wish for good problems. In this way, by adopting a delusional positivity, you attract and surround yourself with others who are also delusionally positive. You take one person who decides to ignore reality in favor of feeling good all the time.
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This sort of self-absorption then turns off anybody who is content and rational, and instead attracts the most desperate and gullible. This person, delusionally positive to the brim, then ironically attracts and surrounds themselves with other delusionally positive followers.
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